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Saturday, June 28, 2014


Social Truth

-Dr. Kurien S Thomas

Very recently, a 40 year old man came to me with his parents for counselling. Analysing him through the lens of a psychotherapist, I could make out many flaws in the way he looked as his life. In that, one that made him not able to cope at work, home and other places was lack of social As we all have work life, family life, other kinds of life, we ought to have social life too. Humans are said to be social animals even though they, at times, fail to be what they ought to be. There are many lessons that we learn from social life; some of which are listed below.

1. Be Confident.

The key to establish contact or to initiate a process is confidence. Confidence has to develop from within. Nobody, but you yourself is the creator of this unique quality. Confidence portrays how well you adapt to a given situation. At a social level you should be able to stand up straight, smile, look very approachable, have a firm handshake, after taking care of your personal hygiene, remember names, know where to say ‘No’ and converse well revealing only those information that are essential to be revealed.

2. Be genuine&amp smart.
Deal with a smart topic that would interest you and the rest while you converse. Talk to the point with good voice modulations, sparking up with pleasing expressions. When you smile, smile with your heart. A superficial smile could sometimes mark to be unpleasing. Put your ego aside and approach as one in the group. Hierarchy always builds barriers.
3. Be a smart conversant

Another art to be a social person is being good at conversing. Try to converse on smart and acceptable topics, where; topics can be evenly debated in a sporting spirit rather than leading to an argument. Too techie or philosophical topics or using too many jargons should be avoided as that creates vacuum with a lot of people. You may like a particular topic but it doesn’t mean a lot. All do. Learn to balance topics, emotions and expressions to be a social person. Most important be humble.

4. Be a person of the society.

How to be a person of the society is now a question to those who are total introverts. If you are a member of a Church, it is an easy way to establish oneself. You may also be a member of a club or sport association or non-governmental organisations or even a political party. Take up social responsibilities on topics that interest you or make you feel challenged. Brain storming to make your area a better place to live can be a blessing in disguise as you will spring out with enough acceptable ideas that will prove beneficial to you and the people around you. You then poise to be an acceptable leader in society.
5. Be everybody’s person.

It is easy to hate someone, but try to hate his/her habits not the individual. In this way you mark your presence to make yourself acceptable in society. It is very important to be acceptable in society if you wish to make a marking impression. Do emphasize but learn to float and not sink in the problems or issues of the other. There can be times when you feel people take you for granted or do not respect you as you should be. Learn to accept that scenario and motivate yourself positively to do greater work leading irresistible temptation for society to shower you with praise.
Being confined to a room and saying even if I do not go somebody else will do is not the right approach. It is true that there may be others who can do the work but not the way you would do it. Social life improves your personality development to some extent. Encourage yourself and learn to encourage others to do greater things for society. Betterment of the society is our moral responsibility. You become a leader when you create leaders.
Happy socialising.

Dr.Kurien S Thomas is a writer, columnist, corporate trainer, psychotherapist, yoga therapist & counsellor; founder & executive director of Effective Living Inc., a global counselling& stress management clinic, which has a unique approach to psychotherapy, counselling, yoga therapy & wellness therapy. He also conducts seminars and workshops for corporate, schools, colleges and various organisations. His personal / online counselling on family issues, teenagers, parenting, health issues, obesity, slimming and other issues has been a boon to many.
For more details and appointments write to him at or call at: +91-0-9969105310 or +91-0-9987223811. Website:

Dear readers, post in your queries, suggestions and feedback to

Dr.Kurien S Thomas
for Effective Living Inc
(The above article is the best regarding the Social Truth'.We learn a lot from this article.We do not get such valuable articles always and we can make use of the important points and adapt to our own life. I have found it as the most interesting and valuable.Thanks Dr. Kurien. New World is greatly obliged to you for this valuable article)
George Kurian for New World
(Republished from 8/2/2010)

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