Whenever my wife needs money, she calls me handsome.
Hand some over.
The honeymoon is over when he no longer smiles gently
as he scrapes the burnt toast.
Views expressed by husbands are not necessarily those of
My wife is on a diet... coconuts and bananas. She hasn't
lost any weight, but boy, can she climb a tree!
Things are so bad in our town that the police department
has now an unlisted number.
He sent his picture to the Lonely Hearts Club. He got this
reply, "We are not that lonely!"
Member: "How are you feeling, Pastor?"
Member: "We had a committee meeting last night and they
voted to send you this get-well card. The motion passed
A parishioner had dozed off to sleep during
the morning service. "Will all who want to go to heaven stand?"
the preacher asked. All stood except the sleeping parishioner.
After they sat down, the pastor continued: "Will all who
want to go to the other place stand?"
Someone suddenly dropped a songbook and the sleeping
man jumped to his feet. He mumbled, "Well preacher,
I don't know what we are voting for, but it looks like you
and I are the only ones for it."
Source: Bob Phillips, World's Greatest Collection of Clean Jokes.
Thanks. New World