Friday, March 6, 2015
ZOORJEE STRIKES AGAIN: JOKES FORWARDED BY ZOORJEE
ANSWER ME IF YOU CAN. SOME BRILLIANT DOUBTS.1) If persons own a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
2) Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?
3) If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
4) When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tastes it?
5) What is the speed of darkness?
6) If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole plane made out of that stuff ?
7) Who copyright the copyright symbol?
8) Why do people say, "you have been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
9) Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
10) Can you get cornered in a round room?
11) Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
12) If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?
13) If you are traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlight on what happens?IF YOU CAN PLEASE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS A.S.A.P.Labels: Jokes, Zoorjee by georgekurian
2) Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?
3) If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
4) When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tastes it?
5) What is the speed of darkness?
6) If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole plane made out of that stuff ?
7) Who copyright the copyright symbol?
8) Why do people say, "you have been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
9) Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
10) Can you get cornered in a round room?
11) Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
12) If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?
13) If you are traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlight on what happens?IF YOU CAN PLEASE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS A.S.A.P.Labels: Jokes, Zoorjee by georgekurian
ST GERTRUDE THE GREAT, AN EXEMPLARY SAINT
St Gertrude is one of the woman saints who has the "Great" after her
name. She had been a maiden with unparalleled virtue aside from our
very own Blessed Mother Mary.
From the chronicles of the Fathers of the Church and of those who
wrote her autobiography, her soul is so purified because of her
great love for our Lord Jesus Christ.
In her passionate love for the centre of her life, she was said to have
been given the Prayer for suffering Souls of Purgatory.
pic credit: catholic.org
SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE IN SYDNEY, VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA
ONE OF THE WONDERS OF THE MODERN WORLD!
pic credit: sydney.comWHY DO I LOVE YOU? POEM FORWARDED BY THOMAS PHILIP RANNI
WHY DO I LOVE YOU ? FORWARDED BY THOMAS PHILIP RANNI
I love
you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For ignoring the possibilities
Of the fool in me
And for laying firm hold
Of the possibilities for good.
Why do I love you?
I love you
For closing your eyes
To the discords-
And for adding to the music in me
By worshipful listening.
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
And out of the words
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a word,
Without a touch,
Without a sign,
You have done it
Just by being yourself.
After all
Perhaps that is what
Love means.
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For ignoring the possibilities
Of the fool in me
And for laying firm hold
Of the possibilities for good.
Why do I love you?
I love you
For closing your eyes
To the discords-
And for adding to the music in me
By worshipful listening.
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
And out of the words
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a word,
Without a touch,
Without a sign,
You have done it
Just by being yourself.
After all
Perhaps that is what
Love means.
-ROY CROFT
(Thanks Thomas Philip Ranni for sending this
beautiful poem of the poet Roy Croft. Excellent).
New World
STREAMS IN THE WASTELAND: REFLECTIONS FORWARDED BY PRAYER AID
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise. Is 43:18-21
Our Father says to us, ‘forget the past and do not dwell on it’ By dwelling on the past, we miss the wonderful blessings that God wants to give us today. Blessings of peace, unity, good relationships, and much more. If the animals know God, and know Who provides for them, how much more should we His chosen ones not desire to know Him? Let us begin this year with that decision: that we will try to the best of our ability to know our Father more and more.
by Jane Pimenta
(Thanks Jane for this meaningful and excellent discernment of God's Word. Excellent). New World
LET LEAVES FLY: POEM BY CYNTHIA ABEGAIL
CYNTHIA ABEGAIL'S COLUMN: POEM
Let the Leaves Fly
The following is another beautiful poem from our distinguished Poetess, CYNTHIA.
Thanks).New World
I thought it's only a day
Forgot that come what may
It's so long the time is slow
Rush the wind so I can go!
It did not hear what I said
I turn to the sky so laid
Can I ride by the clouds
Just for a second round?
No, quite busy, ask the tree,
It may bring you for a tee
How, the nests to bother
The birds do matter...
Maybe the flowers will send,
They are lovely so may bend
It's a surprise, no not now
The bees will visit so how?
With grief, my friends not yield,
Faced the leaves in the field
Brownish yellow by the east
Amused and glad not to cease!
The leaves flutter like birds,
Whispered mirth not tears
Will fly for you north above
Is it near or far from dove?
Let the leaves fly by the seas,
Send the message as I wish
Warm greetings that I miss
Thanks, love and peace!
( A very beautiful and thought provoking poem. Thank you Cynthia
New World
All rights reserved: Cynthia Abegail
The following is another beautiful poem from our distinguished Poetess, CYNTHIA.
Thanks).New World
I thought it's only a day
Forgot that come what may
It's so long the time is slow
Rush the wind so I can go!
It did not hear what I said
I turn to the sky so laid
Can I ride by the clouds
Just for a second round?
No, quite busy, ask the tree,
It may bring you for a tee
How, the nests to bother
The birds do matter...
Maybe the flowers will send,
They are lovely so may bend
It's a surprise, no not now
The bees will visit so how?
With grief, my friends not yield,
Faced the leaves in the field
Brownish yellow by the east
Amused and glad not to cease!
The leaves flutter like birds,
Whispered mirth not tears
Will fly for you north above
Is it near or far from dove?
Let the leaves fly by the seas,
Send the message as I wish
Warm greetings that I miss
Thanks, love and peace!
( A very beautiful and thought provoking poem. Thank you Cynthia
New World
All rights reserved: Cynthia Abegail
STELLA'S TEENAGE BLUSH: CYNTHIA ABEGAIL'S COLUMN
SHORT STORY
Stella's Teenage Blush
( This is a beautiful story.It vividly describes the hidden feelings of a youth. A very nice story)New WorldStella is an ordinary teenager with acne and pimples but there is
one thing that's so striking with her. She has an innate charm and
just imagine, she gets 100% in all her tests. I really could not say
she is a genius because she forgets her pen most of the time that I
always have a spare pen for this friend of mine!
Unlike my circle of friends, she is so quiet and reserved that she was
once voted as "Most behaved" in our Trigonometry class. Is she weird
or strange? This is a million dollar question for me which I tried to solve
when we were in fourth year high school.
I thought she was a nerd! Why? Because whenever our History teacher
ask her any question in History, she knows it and she could even visualise
the face of Julius Caesar... Hmm, what has she drunk when she was a baby?
Is it some kind of a high quality DNA milk? I am not jealous at all because I
can draw so well; Ha Ha!!!, at last I found her weakness. She is weak in painting
and even in sewing.
One day, I was surprised! She told me a precious secret. She said, "I have a crush
and his name is Virgil!" Really?
We went to this party and we had a game called Trip to Jerusalem. At the end, Stella and Virgil were left with only one chair to sit on! Whoever sits on the chair is the winner!
Guess what, at the end of the music, she accidentally sat on the lap of Virgil; everybody laughed!
She blushed, coz Virgil is his crush.
Stella's Teenage Blush
( This is a beautiful story.It vividly describes the hidden feelings of a youth. A very nice story)New WorldStella is an ordinary teenager with acne and pimples but there is
one thing that's so striking with her. She has an innate charm and
just imagine, she gets 100% in all her tests. I really could not say
she is a genius because she forgets her pen most of the time that I
always have a spare pen for this friend of mine!
Unlike my circle of friends, she is so quiet and reserved that she was
once voted as "Most behaved" in our Trigonometry class. Is she weird
or strange? This is a million dollar question for me which I tried to solve
when we were in fourth year high school.
I thought she was a nerd! Why? Because whenever our History teacher
ask her any question in History, she knows it and she could even visualise
the face of Julius Caesar... Hmm, what has she drunk when she was a baby?
Is it some kind of a high quality DNA milk? I am not jealous at all because I
can draw so well; Ha Ha!!!, at last I found her weakness. She is weak in painting
and even in sewing.
One day, I was surprised! She told me a precious secret. She said, "I have a crush
and his name is Virgil!" Really?
We went to this party and we had a game called Trip to Jerusalem. At the end, Stella and Virgil were left with only one chair to sit on! Whoever sits on the chair is the winner!
Guess what, at the end of the music, she accidentally sat on the lap of Virgil; everybody laughed!
She blushed, coz Virgil is his crush.
GOD AND POSSESSIONS: REFLECTIONS BY CYNTHIA ABEGAIL
GOD AND POSSESSIONS
"No one can be a slave of two masters, he will
hate one and love the other. You cannot serve
both God and money.
This is why I tell you: do not be worried about the food and drink you need in order to stay alive,
or about the clothes for your body. After all, isn't
life more than food? And isn't the body worth more
than clothes? Look at the birds; they do not plant
seeds, gather a harvest and put it in the barns, yet
your Father in heaven takes care of them! Aren't you
worth more than the birds? Can any of you live longer
by worrying about it?...
Look how the wild flowers grow: they do not worry or
make clothes for themselves. But I tell you that not even
King Solomon with all his wealth had clothes as beautiful
as one of these flowers...
Your Father in heaven knows that you need all of these things.
Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom
of God and what He requires of you, and He will provide you
with all these other things. So do not worry about tomorrow;
it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to
the troubles each day brings."
Matthew 6: 24-34
* As human as we are, it is not that easy not to get worried about so
many trials that we face everyday. On the other hand, it is already
God who assures us that seeking the Kingdom is supposed to be thetop priority in our lives.
Let us ask ourselves, will our worries solve the problems we encounter?
Will it add any cubit to the length of our lives? Never! Worries will just
refocus our minds to unnecessary elements. If we genuinely trust God,
then there is really no need to worry. Surrender to Him all of your needs.Tomorrow will take care of itself; focus on the Lord. Abide in Him and He will abide in you!
Cynthia Abegail
JOKES BY CHERIAN VARGHESE
Marriage Humour:
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: I was looking for the Expiry date !!
******************************
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
*********************************
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
JOKES WITH FACTS: DRIVING IN INDIA PART 1 FORWARDED BY GEORGE CYRIAC
JOKES WITH FACTS:
DRIVING IN INDIA
( The following is a report with some jokes but full of facts. We all experience the 'GREAT DRIVING' in India, when we visit India. You should be really lucky to survive on the road from any accident with the way the roads are and the way the driving is. Thanks to Mr. Cyriac George, Canada, who is also a CMS College Alumni for sending this useful article written in a skillful and funny way.) New World
This hilarious article was written by an Expert from Baan, Netherlands who spent two years in Hyderabad.
Driving in India For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.
Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows:
Do we drive on the left or right of the road?
The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position.
Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.
Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We blow horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or, just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.
Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwaters to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.
Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.
Republished
DRIVING IN INDIA
( The following is a report with some jokes but full of facts. We all experience the 'GREAT DRIVING' in India, when we visit India. You should be really lucky to survive on the road from any accident with the way the roads are and the way the driving is. Thanks to Mr. Cyriac George, Canada, who is also a CMS College Alumni for sending this useful article written in a skillful and funny way.) New World
This hilarious article was written by an Expert from Baan, Netherlands who spent two years in Hyderabad.
Driving in India For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.
Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows:
Do we drive on the left or right of the road?
The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position.
Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.
Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We blow horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or, just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.
Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwaters to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.
Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.
Republished
Thursday, March 5, 2015
MYTH ON BOUYANCY (SOURCE: MYTHBUSTERS BY N. SEARLE)
QUOTED:
"The idea that certain things float in other things is as simple and orderly as it is wrong. What looks like something floating is really something that is pushed upwards by something else...A dense something like a body of water, despite its drippy, wet appearance, has all the authority it needs to keep a mighty beast like a 100,000-ton Nimitz-class aircraft supercarrier, or even a fully loaded 600,000 ton supertanker afloat, despite the fact that both vessels are made of steel (denser than water)...The point is to keep the ship afloat by having its average density less that that of water. Ships do this by having a shape that allows for air to lower this average."
(Very interesting fact, thanks to Mr Searle for busting a myth).
Source: Searle, Nicholas. Mythbusters: Mythopedia. p. 66.
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